Post by River Tam on Aug 25, 2008 10:56:19 GMT -5
River was bored, for once, of Serenity. Sure she had plenty of stuff to do, but she had no one to do it with. Everyone else was gone or doing other things, and not for the first time did she feel like a third wheel, or maybe a sixth wheel, considering the crew, and not includin’ Mal. Everyone had something to do, some way or another to help out: Zoe helped Mal with heists, Jayne helped Mal with heists (what else was he good for?), Kaylee was the mechanic, Simon the doctor. Even Inara earned her stay; she was the Companion. But what did River do? Sure she had told the, all about Miranda, but she was still that crazy girl whom Jayne said would never amount to nothing. And she had killed Wash. So how did any of this amount to boredom?
Mal and Zoe had gone off on a heist earlier, and Jayne, who had not gone, was in his room supposedly polishing his guns (but River had evidence to believe that Jayne babied his guns every now and then; to emphasize this knowledge, she heard him talking to Vera, his biggest and best gun, in tones he only reserved for special occasions). River left Jayne alone; she didn’t much like him and she couldn’t stand his sweet-talk. Inara was off somewhere on ‘Companion Duty,’ as River liked to call it. Kaylee was busy fixing the engine, and she asked that please no one bother her until she’s finished. That left Simon, and though River liked her brother, he didn’t usually play games with her and Kaylee. And these games were usually meant for two or more players, so River would have no fun playing games by her lonesome. This left River with only a couple of options left, and neither of those options were very appealing. One of those options was to go to the bridge and look out the large window, the other was to sleep. The view out of the window wasn’t at all that pleasant, as Mal had landed Serenity on a rock facing a rock. And sleep wasn’t so good because River didn’t like to sleep. Whenever she slept she had bad dreams or she never felt rejuvenated when she woke up.
River had been absentmindedly walking around the ship. She had already passed the engine room twice, and she had already passed Jayne’s room maybe four times. The Infirmary was the only place that she had passed only once, as it brought back too bad of memories. She noticed with some surprise that she had stopped next to her room, which was directly across from Simon's room. If she had meant to stop there, she didn’t know. She rubbed her eyes, sleep suddenly sounding like a good idea. But River had never readily gone to sleep. Ever. Still, the prospect of going to sleep, much less without being told, held some curiosity for the girl. So, quietly, as she was barefooted and wearing her favorite purple dress (the flowing one that twirled around her whenever she spun, she liked that), she pushed open her room and walked inside. Simon wasn’t in his room; he never was. She had the passenger quarters to herself. In fact, River had no idea where Simon was, but she had a pretty good idea where he might be: either in the Infirmary or gawking over Kaylee. But River wasn’t about to go searching through the ship with her mind; some people didn’t like that, mainly Jayne.
River looked at her bed, which had been done up as it was every morning: She had earthy colors as her sheets (she had picked them out herself), but a bright pink pillow lay on top, almost like a prize. That pillow had been Kaylee’s, and Kaylee had given it to the girl before River had gotten the sheets. She liked that pillow, as it was just another symbol of River and Kaylee’s friendship. She lay down on the bed, positioning her head so that it lay on the pillow, but she didn’t bother pulling the covers over her. If she needed them during the day-time, then something in Serenity was messin’ up. River noted that as soon as her head hit the pillow she was immensely tired. ‘Just one little nap.’ River thought as sleep caught her unaware.
The dream started peacefully, but River knew instantly that it was a dream because Wash was there. Hoban Washburne was sitting in the pilot’s seat playing with his dinosaurs (in real life, River had moved those dinos to the co-pilot’s seat so she could play with them). His voice crept upward to almost innocence when he played the stegosaurus and grew evil-like as the tyrannosaur spoke. River had often tried to mimic those voices when she played with the dinos, but never could. The girl took a step forward, but she instantly felt like something was wrong, since the step had been too short considerin’ her legs. She looked down to realize that, instead of a 17 year old body she had the body of a 3 or 4 year old. Wash had stopped talking in his dino voices and she heard his chair squeak as he turned to face her. Wash’s chair never squeaked (River made sure of that), and that surprised River, and so the girl looked up from her body to see Wash. Only he wasn’t a Wash that River wanted to remember: this Wash had a gaping hole in his chest where the Reaver dart had gone through him. ”’S’at you, little River?” He asked in a monotone that River thought he had never been capable of making.
The dream shifted, and River was standing near a younger Simon and Father. Father was berating Simon for getting bad grades on a test, which was wrong seein’ as Simon never got bad grades on tests. Simon looked about to cry, something that River had only seen him do a handful of times, and River tried to go comfort him but found she couldn’t move. Father was done with Simon, and Simon sulked away. Then Father turned to River and evolved. There was no other word for it, Father was Father one moment and then he was not the next. River noticed one thing that made her know what he was, and she wanted to scream with fright. She couldn’t, though, and instead she started mumbling, ”two by two, hands of blue.” Indeed, Father, who was no longer Father, was wearing blue gloves. For a moment he faded out of existence, but she could still feel him coming for her, ready to take her back to the Academy. Then there were two of him, both wearing blue gloves. This was no dream, it was a nightmare.
Behind the two men, who River could no longer think of as her Father, she saw piled bodies. It was hard to explain, because one moment there was nothing but River’s old home and the next all of her friends and family were piled there. Simon and Kaylee were at the bottom, and Kaylee was holding a small bundle of something, a baby perhaps? But Kaylee and Simon had never… no, this was a dream, nothing was real. All three had slit throats, and Simon seemed to be trying to say something he could never get out. Then she saw Zoe and Wash, together with a look of peace on their faces. They both had matching holes in their chests. Mal was next, and his look was wholly different than of Zoe and Wash’s. He had been tortured, and one of his ears was cut off, and he sported a bullet hole on his forehead. Inara and Book were there, too. And all were dead from one thing or another. At the top of the pile sat a Reaver, dead, too, with Mother’s dead in his left hand and the strangled Professor Rao in his right arm. Father wasn’t there because he was one of those Blue Sun people.
”You’ve meddled, River.” Professor Rao said, fixing her dead eyes on River. Professor Rao had been River’s favorite professor, even if Rao had never really liked her. River, for one, had been a full three years younger than the rest of her classmates. River’s face hardened, ”I have not.” Professor Rao only had to say one word to disprove that remark: ”Miranda.” River had meddled and she knew it. But this was a dream, no, a nightmare, and the real Professor Rao never knew what had happened to River after the girl had left her class. Suddenly fearful, River closed her eyes. She could still feel the presence of the Blue Sun people, and one of her Fathers finally caught her.
River woke up and screamed. She thrashed about in her bed. She clawed at her head, wishing for the terrible nightmare to go away. Somehow her covers had been jarred, and Kaylee’s pillow was not underneath her head. And suddenly she was not on her bed. She had flipped to the floor, and one of her covers followed her, as it had become entwined in her leg. She realized that her screams would get her nowhere, and so she stopped, settling with mumbling insane phrases under her breath. She knew Kaylee wouldn’t be able to hear her, and if Jayne heard her, he never did anything to help. Simon was the only one who would probably come running, and she hoped he couldn’t hear her just like Kaylee couldn’t. She sat up, though laboriously, as if she had just finished running a triathlon. Her dark brown hair hung over her face, swirling gently as she struggled to get her breath under control. Her mutterings centered on two words that she said over and over again, “I’ve meddled, I’ve meddled, I’ve meddled.” Try as she might, she couldn’t stop, and she couldn’t tell whether or not that was good.
River tried to calm down, to picture Simon as he walked through the door. She knew he would be afraid, so she pictured him with that goofy look on his face. But he would be concerned, so all that he would show of the fear was slightly wider eyes. His voice would be higher in pitch, too. Whenever he heightened his voice he sounded silly, and River forced out a laugh between the words. When he found her by the bed he would know that she had been asleep and had had a bad dream. ‘A horrible dream,’ River thought, shaking her head slowly, though nothing would work to dislodge the thoughts from her brain. He would hold River, talk soothingly to her, in which case she would promptly begin to tell him no everything wasn’t alright. But that was just a representation of him, as River didn’t wholly care how Simon was today, as long as he came.
“I’ve meddled.” She said, repeating. Always repeating those same two words.
((Sorry for the length. I swear it won't be this long next time, unless you want it to be. =3))
Mal and Zoe had gone off on a heist earlier, and Jayne, who had not gone, was in his room supposedly polishing his guns (but River had evidence to believe that Jayne babied his guns every now and then; to emphasize this knowledge, she heard him talking to Vera, his biggest and best gun, in tones he only reserved for special occasions). River left Jayne alone; she didn’t much like him and she couldn’t stand his sweet-talk. Inara was off somewhere on ‘Companion Duty,’ as River liked to call it. Kaylee was busy fixing the engine, and she asked that please no one bother her until she’s finished. That left Simon, and though River liked her brother, he didn’t usually play games with her and Kaylee. And these games were usually meant for two or more players, so River would have no fun playing games by her lonesome. This left River with only a couple of options left, and neither of those options were very appealing. One of those options was to go to the bridge and look out the large window, the other was to sleep. The view out of the window wasn’t at all that pleasant, as Mal had landed Serenity on a rock facing a rock. And sleep wasn’t so good because River didn’t like to sleep. Whenever she slept she had bad dreams or she never felt rejuvenated when she woke up.
River had been absentmindedly walking around the ship. She had already passed the engine room twice, and she had already passed Jayne’s room maybe four times. The Infirmary was the only place that she had passed only once, as it brought back too bad of memories. She noticed with some surprise that she had stopped next to her room, which was directly across from Simon's room. If she had meant to stop there, she didn’t know. She rubbed her eyes, sleep suddenly sounding like a good idea. But River had never readily gone to sleep. Ever. Still, the prospect of going to sleep, much less without being told, held some curiosity for the girl. So, quietly, as she was barefooted and wearing her favorite purple dress (the flowing one that twirled around her whenever she spun, she liked that), she pushed open her room and walked inside. Simon wasn’t in his room; he never was. She had the passenger quarters to herself. In fact, River had no idea where Simon was, but she had a pretty good idea where he might be: either in the Infirmary or gawking over Kaylee. But River wasn’t about to go searching through the ship with her mind; some people didn’t like that, mainly Jayne.
River looked at her bed, which had been done up as it was every morning: She had earthy colors as her sheets (she had picked them out herself), but a bright pink pillow lay on top, almost like a prize. That pillow had been Kaylee’s, and Kaylee had given it to the girl before River had gotten the sheets. She liked that pillow, as it was just another symbol of River and Kaylee’s friendship. She lay down on the bed, positioning her head so that it lay on the pillow, but she didn’t bother pulling the covers over her. If she needed them during the day-time, then something in Serenity was messin’ up. River noted that as soon as her head hit the pillow she was immensely tired. ‘Just one little nap.’ River thought as sleep caught her unaware.
The dream started peacefully, but River knew instantly that it was a dream because Wash was there. Hoban Washburne was sitting in the pilot’s seat playing with his dinosaurs (in real life, River had moved those dinos to the co-pilot’s seat so she could play with them). His voice crept upward to almost innocence when he played the stegosaurus and grew evil-like as the tyrannosaur spoke. River had often tried to mimic those voices when she played with the dinos, but never could. The girl took a step forward, but she instantly felt like something was wrong, since the step had been too short considerin’ her legs. She looked down to realize that, instead of a 17 year old body she had the body of a 3 or 4 year old. Wash had stopped talking in his dino voices and she heard his chair squeak as he turned to face her. Wash’s chair never squeaked (River made sure of that), and that surprised River, and so the girl looked up from her body to see Wash. Only he wasn’t a Wash that River wanted to remember: this Wash had a gaping hole in his chest where the Reaver dart had gone through him. ”’S’at you, little River?” He asked in a monotone that River thought he had never been capable of making.
The dream shifted, and River was standing near a younger Simon and Father. Father was berating Simon for getting bad grades on a test, which was wrong seein’ as Simon never got bad grades on tests. Simon looked about to cry, something that River had only seen him do a handful of times, and River tried to go comfort him but found she couldn’t move. Father was done with Simon, and Simon sulked away. Then Father turned to River and evolved. There was no other word for it, Father was Father one moment and then he was not the next. River noticed one thing that made her know what he was, and she wanted to scream with fright. She couldn’t, though, and instead she started mumbling, ”two by two, hands of blue.” Indeed, Father, who was no longer Father, was wearing blue gloves. For a moment he faded out of existence, but she could still feel him coming for her, ready to take her back to the Academy. Then there were two of him, both wearing blue gloves. This was no dream, it was a nightmare.
Behind the two men, who River could no longer think of as her Father, she saw piled bodies. It was hard to explain, because one moment there was nothing but River’s old home and the next all of her friends and family were piled there. Simon and Kaylee were at the bottom, and Kaylee was holding a small bundle of something, a baby perhaps? But Kaylee and Simon had never… no, this was a dream, nothing was real. All three had slit throats, and Simon seemed to be trying to say something he could never get out. Then she saw Zoe and Wash, together with a look of peace on their faces. They both had matching holes in their chests. Mal was next, and his look was wholly different than of Zoe and Wash’s. He had been tortured, and one of his ears was cut off, and he sported a bullet hole on his forehead. Inara and Book were there, too. And all were dead from one thing or another. At the top of the pile sat a Reaver, dead, too, with Mother’s dead in his left hand and the strangled Professor Rao in his right arm. Father wasn’t there because he was one of those Blue Sun people.
”You’ve meddled, River.” Professor Rao said, fixing her dead eyes on River. Professor Rao had been River’s favorite professor, even if Rao had never really liked her. River, for one, had been a full three years younger than the rest of her classmates. River’s face hardened, ”I have not.” Professor Rao only had to say one word to disprove that remark: ”Miranda.” River had meddled and she knew it. But this was a dream, no, a nightmare, and the real Professor Rao never knew what had happened to River after the girl had left her class. Suddenly fearful, River closed her eyes. She could still feel the presence of the Blue Sun people, and one of her Fathers finally caught her.
River woke up and screamed. She thrashed about in her bed. She clawed at her head, wishing for the terrible nightmare to go away. Somehow her covers had been jarred, and Kaylee’s pillow was not underneath her head. And suddenly she was not on her bed. She had flipped to the floor, and one of her covers followed her, as it had become entwined in her leg. She realized that her screams would get her nowhere, and so she stopped, settling with mumbling insane phrases under her breath. She knew Kaylee wouldn’t be able to hear her, and if Jayne heard her, he never did anything to help. Simon was the only one who would probably come running, and she hoped he couldn’t hear her just like Kaylee couldn’t. She sat up, though laboriously, as if she had just finished running a triathlon. Her dark brown hair hung over her face, swirling gently as she struggled to get her breath under control. Her mutterings centered on two words that she said over and over again, “I’ve meddled, I’ve meddled, I’ve meddled.” Try as she might, she couldn’t stop, and she couldn’t tell whether or not that was good.
River tried to calm down, to picture Simon as he walked through the door. She knew he would be afraid, so she pictured him with that goofy look on his face. But he would be concerned, so all that he would show of the fear was slightly wider eyes. His voice would be higher in pitch, too. Whenever he heightened his voice he sounded silly, and River forced out a laugh between the words. When he found her by the bed he would know that she had been asleep and had had a bad dream. ‘A horrible dream,’ River thought, shaking her head slowly, though nothing would work to dislodge the thoughts from her brain. He would hold River, talk soothingly to her, in which case she would promptly begin to tell him no everything wasn’t alright. But that was just a representation of him, as River didn’t wholly care how Simon was today, as long as he came.
“I’ve meddled.” She said, repeating. Always repeating those same two words.
((Sorry for the length. I swear it won't be this long next time, unless you want it to be. =3))
