land beneath {open} my feet

[Simon Tam]

It had been a long time since Serenity had landed on terra firma. It probably wasn’t all that long, Simon reflected, lying on his back on his bunk, his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling, but for someone who had lived his whole life on one planet, spending so much time in the sky felt different, even though he’d been up here for quite some time now. He loved being on Serenity, he really did, but he wished that they could land on some planets every now and again, and preferably not ones on the Rim; Simon might not have been able to go right into the core without some kind of disguise, even now, but a bit of civilisation was something he craved. A proper city…how long had it been since he’d seen one of those? Persephone, perhaps? It had been a long while at any rate, and though the crew were like another family – dysfunctional, yes, but a family – he sometimes wondered what it would be like to spend more than a day or two planet-side. However, he’d heard from Kaylee, who had heard from Zoe, that Mal had finally been given a job that sounded promising. A job that required landing on a moon.

Running his hands through his hair before sitting up, pulling on a clean shirt and making his way down to the cargo bay, Simon smiled. Alright, so he might not have felt the earth beneath his feet for a while, but life hadn’t been this good since he’d sprung River from the Academy. He was visiting all sorts of places that he’d never seen before (well, if visiting constituted flying past various moons and planets), had a whole group of friends, including a lovely girlfriend, and River was doing a lot better. Yes, life was very good. A little variety on the food front wouldn’t have gone amiss, and as he’d thought earlier, he would have preferred to see a little more land every now and again, but Simon couldn’t complain. He didn’t want to; what was there to complain about?

Ten minutes later, and Simon was standing with both his feet firmly on the ground of Highgate, a moon that they had visited a while ago. There had been some trouble back then, but he hoped with Burgess – or whatever the man’s name had been – out of the way, things would go a lot smoother this time. At least he hadn’t been called here to deliver a baby, which had been the reason for their initial visit. Stitching people up and saving lives was far more up Simon’s street than bringing new lives into the world; he’d not had to deliver any more babies since then, and he couldn’t say he was disappointed. If he’d wanted to be a midwife, he wouldn’t have been so good at medicine. Either way, he’d probably head on up to the Heart of Gold later, before they left (unless they had to leave in a hurry, which often seemed to happen) and make sure that mother and baby were doing fine, as well as the rest of the girls there.

For now, however, Simon decided that he’d move away from the side of Serenity, where he was standing, and take a little walk. Where he’d go, he wasn’t exactly sure, but it wouldn’t be too far. Maybe there was a town down the track, or if not, he’d just walk in a circle for a while. Anything to reacquaint himself with the ground.

[Inara Serra]

Inara walked slowly back to Serenity after a slightly less than cheerful visit to the Heart Of Gold. While she was very glad to see the girls girls getting along withot Nandi, the events of thier last visit there were still very present in her mind.

Petaline had grown into such a strong woman, following well in Nandi's footseps, managing the girls and the inevitable trouble they would get into. The baby was growing as well. He seemed so big already though he had been born not very long ago at all it seemed. There were times when this lifestyle seemed more appealing than that of a working companion. And if mal continued to insist on boarder moon jobs, she would have to resort to something, though she was fairly certain she could never live as a whore. While she had respect for these girls, she loved the people and the art it took to be a companion. It seemed so odd to simply be with someone for an hour or so without the conversation or the ritual.

At least they were getting jobs. Things were always considerably easier after Mal pulled off a decent job. That was usually when she could convince him to go withing atmo of a decent planet where she could get some good clients.

As Inaa approached Serenity, she noticed Simon beginning to walk away from he ship. She wondered if he too was going to check on the Heart Of Gold. She was glad the crew seemed to care, some for more obvious reasons than others. Mal and Jayne it seemed rather obvious but, as far as she knew, he had no sexual connection. Unless he did, though she could just barley imagine Simon with even a companion, let alone a whore. And there was kaylee now. They had finally managed to work things out. Also with River doing much better since the ordeal on Miranda and the events surrounding it, It only seemed natural that he would be able to begin living for himself again.

She smiled widley as she met him. "It seems I'm not the only one taking advantage of the solid ground." she said in greeting.

[Simon Tam]

Two years – even one year – ago, Simon would never have considered himself to be the sort of person that would enjoy travelling through space; until he started looking for ways to get River out, he’d never been off-world, and had had no great desire to do so. He’d been happy in the hospital he’d worked in, and the chance of promotion on Osiris had been such to keep him there for the rest of his life. However, though there were times when he did miss his life there, Simon really did feel that he belonged here now. It wasn’t as varied as working as a trauma surgeon, since the main wounds he dealt with were bullet wounds, but some of the patients were just as challenging as those he would have dealt with. This was a good life, he knew that now. Not what he’d expected to do with his life, but sometimes life took you to new places. It was inevitable when you lived on a ship, after all. You were bound to visit all sorts of planets, and though some were deprived, some barren, and some just smelled, they were all different. There was a lot of variety in his life now. And as they said, variety was the spice of life. It certainly did make things interesting.

But now, Simon was not looking for interest; all he wanted was to re-establish the fact that land did actually exist and life was not restricted to one, not particularly large, spaceship. Though Serenity wasn’t really that tiny, it was funny how it could so easily become like a sardine tin the minute you were stuck in it without landing for weeks on end. Out here, there was fresh air, a cloud-filled sky and, as mentioned before, solid ground. It was such an important thing for Simon, who wasn’t as used to being in the sky as many of the crew members, that he couldn’t help but take advantage of it. With the current climate, who knew how long it would be before they landed somewhere again? It all depended on the rate of jobs coming in, and that wasn’t something Simon could control.

“Hello, Inara,” Simon greeted as the Companion appeared as if from nowhere; he had been concentrating so hard on taking in the planet that he’d not noticed her approach, though he guessed that she had come from the Heart of Gold, since it wasn’t from the direction of the ship that she’d approached. “Yes, it’s been a long while since we’ve been anywhere, and who knows how long it will be before we land elsewhere?” He smiled, turning to face her. “Have you been visiting the Heart of Gold?”

[Inara Serra]

Inara swallowed a sizable lump in her throat. It was almost easier to be at the Heart of Gold than it was to speak about it. It shouldn't have been so difficult. She nodded, until she regained control. "Yes. It's nice to be back, the girls are getting along well, and Jonah is getting so grown up."

It wasn't a complete lie. She did like to check in. Part of her thought that it was just compensation for the time she and Nandi weren't speaking. The other half of her felt it was guilt, maybe if she had actually been able to kill...This was an emotional planet. Though she loved parts of it.

It was too easy to question Mal's motives for coming here. True, the job required it, but when the greater authority knew the "bad" side of Mal, he preferred the path of least resistance. Everyone had a little connection to this place. She was sure she wasn't the only one who had checked in. She was sure Jayne had been there. Probably more than anyone else and for longer as well. What use was a companion here, when you can get the goods immediately. She regretted the thought the moment it was completed. Silently she chastised herself. She just would have liked to see these girls in a better positions. They were charming and sweet. With some teaching almost anyone of them could make a respectable companion. Yet not everyone wanted the lifestyle she had. What mattered was that they were happy and taken care of, not that they were living up to her standards or expectations.

Inara regained focus, and turned her thoughts back to the conversation at hand. "Have you been there yet?" She hoped he had, these girls worked a dangerous job. Clients weren't as respectable out here, given the line of work. Should another girl get pregnant or ill she would feel safer knowing that Simon was here now, eager to help as always. They were lucky he came aboard Serenity when he did. It had been one of the most dangerous years and surely someone wouldn't have come out of it alive. Between the crew the medical basics were covered. For the most part. Yet nothing could rival the medicinal skills of Simon. While Inara knew she worried to much, but it was part of who she was. "Hopefully the next planet we land on will be inhabitable by a paying client. " A poorly constructed change of subject, it was true. Yet Inara wasn't quite ready to discuss everything in the open.

[Simon Tam]

As soon as the words had left his mouth, Simon wished that he hadn’t mentioned the Heart of Gold; of course it was going to be somewhat upsetting for Inara, since the last time they had landed on this moon one of her best friends had been killed. What a chun zhu he was, not to remember that. Saying things without thinking about the words he was speaking seemed to be a tendency of Simon’s, as this had yet again proven. In fact, it probably would have been better if he’d given up saying things to people – specifically women – altogether, as he invariably embarrassed them or himself, or said something that made them hate him for the rest of the day. He couldn’t help it though; for all the schooling he had had, there had never been a class called ‘how to make sure that you engage your brain before putting your mouth in gear’, and so messing things up (as well as saying something far too formal for the situation and therefore sounding completely out of place) was commonplace for him. At least most of the people on Serenity had become used to it by now. Otherwise, he would have been in a whole lot of trouble.

“That’s good,” Simon replied, trying to sound apologetic and comforting at the same time, but failing dismally. Well, it was his fault they were on this subject, and though Inara didn’t seem particularly upset, she did strike him as the sort of woman that would hide their feelings from everyone just to make the conversation flow easier. She was a Companion, after all, and Simon didn’t have even the faintest inkling at what sort of skills she might have. “I’ve not been yet, but I was planning on walking that way in a few minutes. I want to make sure that everyone is as well as they can be before we leave.” He smiled, remembering his earlier thought about having to do any walking and visiting he wanted sooner rather than later, in case of a quick getaway. “That’s if the Captain doesn’t find himself chased by an Alliance cruiser or something before I get a chance to go.”

Trouble always seemed to find the Captain, and it really wouldn’t have surprised Simon if they had to go at a moment’s notice. Perhaps he should go and do his check up once he’d finished talking to Inara, then, instead of waiting and going for a walk first; he would feel immensely guilty if he had to leave before making sure that there was no-one who was ill. These people he could help now, and who knew how long it was going to be before they came to this particular moon again. What if he didn’t inoculate the baby and then he came down with something fatal?

Simon was glad for the change of subject, although Inara’s profession was just as embarrassing for him, though he was not entirely sure why. “It must be hard,” he replied, looking out across the almost barren moon. “To not be able to work all the time, I mean.”

chun zhu ;; idiot

[Inara Serra]

Inara smiled again. Though this was not, in any way, an uncommon gesture for her, this time it was genuine."Don't worry. Part of living is overcoming grief." She hadn't intended to make him feel bad. Though she hadn't really intended on giving herself away either. This was just one of those times when charm couldn't hide everything. Simon was respectable, however, and the consequences would be little if any. She trusted Simon, after all he had done for River, she knew he was respectable...and if Kaylee truly felt so strongly about him, she knew he would keep her emotions to himself. It only caused complications when everyone got so involved in each other's affairs anyhow. Especially when she was trying to conduct business. After a certain duel last year she had learned to keep people, though mostly Mal, at an arms length when it came to business. Thats all this means. she told herself. If she hadn't brought the everyone to the Heart of Gold in the first place things could have turned out very differently. Perhaps Nandi would still be alive and none of these complications would exist. That wasn't true. If it weren't for the crew's help, everyone at the Heart Of Gold could be dead now or under the control of some official, which, in Nandi's eyes, would have been much worse.

It would be expected of Mal to have to assemble everyone within a minute in order to escape Alliance. He never could resist trouble, even the kind that could get him killed. She hoped he had had enough close encounters, but she knew better. However it was part of who he was and something he was doing worked. As long as his considerable luck held he should be fine. If only she didn't worry so much. Not that her needs for central planets necessarily helped matters. She probably made things worse, though nobody would admit to it. Unless it was useful in an argument, then she could be sure Mal would throw that in her face. Along with the usual insults of "whore", of course. That was just the way things worked. Perhaps staying on Serenity had not been the wisest decision she had made. She just wasn't ready to let go. "Yes" she concluded out loud "That is a possibility. Mal is not a very discreet man. Though I think he would rather collect the money and go, given our location."

Once again her mind looped back to the events that took place here. She quickly willed them out of her mind again, hoping that Simon would not be offended by her emotions. She sighed and changed the subject to her work. "It's not terribly difficult, I have enough money. I just prefer to keep busy and not think about the potential trouble we could all get into."

[Simon Tam]

When he and River had first come out here, Simon had thought that his days of being a doctor were over for good; there was no way that he would be able to gain work in a hospital once he’d been tagged as a fugitive, and what use would his medical skills have when he was hiding under the guise of a paying customer on board the first non-Alliance supporting ship he could find? He was glad that he was now being a doctor again, because it really was his calling; he felt lost and guilty if he was not able to help other people. What he was doing now wasn’t the same as working in the ER at a large hospital on a Core planet, but it was just as challenging, in a completely different way. People on the Rim weren’t necessarily used to seeing a proper doctor and were severely malnourished, while some of the crew weren’t exactly co-operative when it came to lying on his examination table – his sister included.

“Yes. Yes it is,” Simon replied. Grief was a terrible emotion, but one that would be experienced by everyone at some point or another. Losing Wash and the Shepherd had been hard, for example, because they had both been such nice people in their own way, though Simon hadn’t personally had much experience of grief. The people closest to him, aside from River, might as well have died though, for all the contact he had with them…his parents had never believed him when he’d said that something was wrong at The Academy, and were apparently happy to sit back while some Alliance hun dan tortured their daughter. Having since been disowned by his parents, it was for all the world as though they were dead as far as Simon was concerned, although his ‘grief’ at this was minimal; if they weren’t willing to accept what had happened to River and would still send her back to that place if she went home, they were better of out here in the Black. At least he had a kind of family out here that actually looked out for each other and cared when people got hurt. His parents didn’t seem to have cared one bit. Not that there was ever time to dwell on such things out here; Simon was glad that there were things for him to do, or he might have started wishing that some things had been different. Not that he regretted saving River, not for one second. She was everything to him.

Simon smiled. “Trouble…yes, we always do seem to find that, don’t we?” he said, recalling the countless times in the last few months that a quick getaway from certain planets had been necessary. With this crew, it seemed that if something could go wrong, it was going to. Well, it made their lives interesting, at least. Not exactly the sort of interesting that Simon would have liked, but interesting nonetheless.


Hun dan ;; bastard

[Inara Serra]

((OOC: Okay finished. Sorry about the wait.))

Inara thought back of all the times they had made quick escapes, or had to work their way out of something. Mostly they were avoiding loose ends that Mal didn't want to tie. There was something entertaining, almost, in it. She never really thought of it that way during the ordeal, but after wards there was just a certain...satisfaction. Her personal favorite had been getting Mal and Zoe away while working for Niska. The whole experience wasn't fantastic, to say the least, but she was learning to find the fun in it. Especially when there was the certain help that she could provide and make Mal feel a little insufficient on the side. Of course she was always concerned, nothing was ever completely safe. No matter what Jayne, Mal or Kaylee promised.

She turned her attention to Simon, and most prominent, to her, his expression. Inara could tell that he was thinking about River. There was always something detectable in his mannerism or aura, it was just difference. Most likely because of his love for her. To have sacrificed everything for one person seemed impossible. Faced with the same situation, she doubted if she could do it.

As far as River went Inara was so glad to see her doing better. Not all the way, perhaps, but the progress was highly significant. Didn't one have to be slightly obscure to fly on a ship like this, with these people? she thought to herself. "River?" She asked aloud, thinking better than to simply analyze him without result. She knew she wouldn't have to say anymore to convey both her care and worry for the girl.

Analyzing and being an introvert about it was defiantly one of her weak points. With clients and enemies it was always useful to make the experience move as smoothly as possible. However she knew it was simply impolite to do so in a non-business capacity without at least informing the person. She couldn't not analyze people, it was just a habit by now upon interaction. And while that really wasn't the problem she felt guilty none the less. After all there was something deeply personal about that. People gave away more than they knew with their actions, movements and whatnot. Subtle as people tried to be, some things simply could not be hidden. Even she, while she liked to consider herself among those better at hiding things than others, gave away more than she would like most of the time.

Of course there were those who preferred to masquerade as whatever they felt the opposite of their feelings were. With exceptionally good actors it could work, though more often than no this strategy was met by an appalling overstatement and inevitable failure. Though from her side of the story this did make for a more easily understood person.

There were days when she would rather be able to ignore such things. To not look at people and try to configure their minds. She had learned some things from this that had caused more harm than good. Most of those things were behind her, though unfortunate instances continued to scatter her path. Internally she reprimanded herself lightly for thinking badly of skills that had been taught to her by those with ,mostly, good intentions.

[Simon Tam]

Escaping from planets with either the Alliance or some middleman hot on their heels wasn’t exactly the sort of ‘interesting’ that Simon would have initially signed up for; running away was acceptable when it was absolutely necessary (and he certainly deemed being chased by the Alliance a good enough reason) but even so, it would have been simpler if they’d managed just for once not to have to run away. Still, life would have been a whole lot less interesting were that the case; Simon supposed that he should be grateful that they always managed to come out of these scrapes alive – if barely so. That was where he came in, of course. Patching up the crew wasn’t the most exciting of jobs in the medical profession, given the fact that one bullet wound looked exactly like another bullet wound, but it was necessary. Besides, he was beginning to enjoy the jobs they went on (even if he didn’t get particularly involved), and he had to earn his keep somehow. The Captain had done an awful lot for him and River, including keeping them on board when he could so easily have called the Alliance or thrown them off. It wasn’t something that Simon had ever told Mal, but he was extremely grateful for that.

“Hm?” Simon said at Inara’s question. He’d been so lost in his thought that for a moment he thought that his sister had appeared as well, but then he realised that she was asking if he was thinking about her. Inara seemed to have an uncanny ability to put her finger right on the problem that someone had, even if they didn’t vocalise what they were thinking, and at times it was slightly unnerving, particularly if you weren’t expecting it. She was right, though; he had been thinking about River, in a slightly indirect fashion. Was it really that noticeable in his face when he did so? Or maybe it was the Companion training that Inara had that meant she could read his expression better than most. No-one else seemed to notice when he started worrying, or thinking about how much his life had changed in the past year.

“Oh, yes. I was just thinking…she’s come so far this year and is so much better, but if my parents could see her…” Simon trailed off, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he added, folding his arms across his chest and looking out at the land again; he didn’t feel as though he could talk about his parents just yet without getting extremely angry at them. But still, if they could see River now, he was sure that they would be shocked to find her in such a condition as she was, just as he had been when he’d found her; the fact that she had got so much better over the year wouldn’t be something that they’d be able to recognise, he was certain. However, the other thing that he thought they would notice was how happy River was now. She might have been damaged for life, but she was flying among the stars and seeing strange, new places with people who, in their own way, cared about her. This was home for her, and Simon couldn’t think of anywhere that suited her better. She might have been a genius, but she seemed to fit right in to the world of smugglers and spaceships in a way that he never had.

[Inara Serra]

Inara thought of her family and the "care" they experienced with each other. For her family status was everything and the best thing to do for each other would be to improve the families standing. She though back to the day she had first set foot in the House of Madrassa. Her mother had told her that if she stayed there and did as she was told, her life would be better for it. While Inara knew her mother was right, she wasn't necessarily willing to admit it. There was a large part of her that wished she could have grown up with her parents, playing with children outside of the Companion house. She doubted if anyone would have saved her from anything government endorsed or related.

This led her to thoughts of the Alliance and her feelings for them. At the time of the war, she had still been on Sihnon, very new to any sort of work. From where she stood then unification seemed perfectly logical, if not correct. How could anyone not benefit from an such an action. However the years had changed her. While she was not as adamant about her dislike as some of the people around her she had seen the dark side of the Alliance. While it was true, there was a great deal of of good being done through the Alliance, she wansn't convinced it could outweigh some of the things that had been lost or destroyed as a result.

In truth it all depended on where she was. In places like this or on the border moons, where there was no control over tyrants and petty criminals, it was easy to see why some had fought so hard for independence. Yet in the central planets everything thrived. The people were generally taken care of with stability and relative ease. It seemed almost as if there were two universes. Those who had been accepted into the core and those who had been neglected. How could there be such a stark contrast.

Inara pulled her thoughts back to River. She could tell from the way Simon spoke of them that seeing his and River's parent's would mean everything to them. It seemed as if there was something to show there, in River's strength and Simon's great support. Inara contemplated it for a moment. She knew the Tam family had a good deal of money and were quite respectable. She wondered if there was any way she could aid this. "If you would like, I could try to convince Mal to at least go near the core. From there it may be possible to arrange a visit of some type. After all, I do think you two deserve some real family more than anyone."

[Simon Tam]

The people on this ship had been more of a family to Simon and River in the past few months than his own parents had been. Not that he really considered his parents family anymore; a small part of him might have wished that everything was how it should have been, but he knew that he would never be able to speak to his father or his mother again, at least not without getting very angry. They had disowned him after all, and they had been unwilling to accept that the Alliance would be capable of doing anything to River. If they had seen her in the days after she’d come out of the tank, they would be horrified, but he guessed that they would be so incapable of accepting it that they would just go back to their boring lives with their rich friends and constant dinner parties. No, he did not wish to see them. Not ever. He and Mal might not always have seen eye-to-eye, but he was like family now. Everyone on Serenity was. They’d been protected by these people, kept alive when they could have been killed or handed over to the Alliance, which was paramount to a death sentence anyway, at least on River’s part. Even with the thieving and the crime, which Simon couldn’t say he completely agreed with even now, this was home. There was no going back.

The crime, however much Simon wished he wasn’t a part of it, was necessary for earning some money. Although he personally didn’t have much use for any money (which was a stark contrast to the times when the amounts he’d been making had been ludicrously large) as he didn’t particularly like to venture into the towns when they landed on a planet that might actually have a couple of decent shops, it was needed for food, repairs, fuel and the like, if nothing else. It wasn’t like he was often involved on the jobs anyway; he had the feeling that he’d just get in the way, unless someone vaguely respectable-looking was needed.

Inara’s suggestion was completely unexpected, and Simon’s first reaction was one of mild panic. “No!” he said, as if she was going to dump them on Osiris that minute. “No, thank you,” he amended after a moment, realising that he was being silly, and they wouldn’t have to go anywhere near Osiris if he didn’t want to…besides, it wasn’t like the Captain was going to be all too keep on returning to the Core after what happened the last time. “My parents disowned both River and I when I rescued her from that place,” he added, feeling that Inara deserved some kind of explanation for his outburst. “They would send her right back to those hun dans the minute they saw her and then expect me to carry on with life as if nothing had ever happened. I risked so much getting her out, and I’m not doing anything that might send her back. Not after all that’s happened this year.”

[Inara Serra]

Inara was deeply sorry the moment the words left her mouth. From the little she had heard of Simon and River's parents they had become unreasonable in the context of River's situation. She could try to understand their motives. After all she wouldn't have believed it just a little over a year ago. Osiris was one of the lucky planets, they were under the utmost Alliance protection. Should the government tell them something it would seem ridiculous not to believe them.

Yet who knew River better than Simon? It also appeared to her that there was nobody closer, nobody as intelligent and similar to River a s Simon. Had the not learned to trust their children?After all these were not ordinary children by any means. And at that point both were adults. It seemed there were two edges to this sword, both just as believable, though perhaps not as justifiable, knowing what she knew now.

Inara often tried to be somewhat reasonable. She knew what, she now considered ignorance, to be like. Yet she still found it hard to justify the cruelty she felt the Tam's had allowed to befall their daughter. Yet how could Simon, or River for that matter not even want to see them. Even if jut for a brief time. Yet this was not her place to make amends or to get involved to any more extent.

She touched Simon's shoulder briefly and looked him dead in the eyes, knowing he would understand that she meant what she was going to say. "I'm sorry, truly, I had forgotten how much they had put you through. I didn't mean to intrude." She knew how personal such things could be and how uncomfortable it could be to discuss them with anyone.

She should have known better. It was out of her place to say something like that. She was not the only factor in determining something of this magnitude. after all she would have to convince Mal to go near a major core planet, somehow et the two in, easier said than done when they were wanted by the Alliance and of course get them back out. Even if Simon had agreed to such a thing she wasn't even sure it was possible. Though she would love to do something to make life a little nicer for the two, she simply hadn't thought this all the way through. It would have been worse to have gotten thier hopes up in the first place.

[Simon Tam]

“It’s fine,” Simon replied. It wasn’t Inara’s fault at all, he knew that. As usual, he had said something without thinking the consequences through; it was a trait that seemed to haunt him almost every time he opened his mouth. If he didn’t offend Kaylee by telling her that she was the only girl he knew that he could see, then he was getting on the wrong side of Mal or Jayne. Why couldn’t he be the sort of person to whom words came easily, instead of finding himself fumbling over what he was saying like a bumbling idiot? At least it wasn’t someone else he’d managed to upset this time; it didn’t matter so much if he said something slightly awkward when he was the only person that would be affected by it. Thinking about his parents had been a stupid idea…but then he said that every time he thought about them, and it didn’t stop him doing it. He would definitely have to take that walk in a few minutes to walk off his anger; as long as River didn’t see him in that time, that didn’t matter. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to lie to his sister (mainly because she could read his mind anyway), but she seemed to have forgotten about their life on Osiris and their parents. He didn’t want to reawaken those feelings if he didn’t have to.

Besides, he and River had become independent now. You had to be, when you were flying through the black to God knew where. He was sure River would feel cooped up on a planet again, so far away from the stars; he knew he would. They didn’t need the parental guidance that they had once had, because that guidance had obviously been guiding them in the wrong direction. Working in a hospital again would be nice, but it wasn’t of the utmost importance to Simon. Not now. So many things had changed his view on life over the last year. The only thing that remained the same was his top priority; looking after his sister. That was more important than anything.

Simon nodded, almost as if he were trying to convince himself that the acceptance of his parents – if not more than that – was not the most important thing in the world. He wasn’t sure he quite believed it though, for all his show at not caring. Everything he had done in his life, he’d done to please them more than to please himself, and now he was on his own. Well, on his own with a bunch of criminals that he actually found himself liking and wanting to be accepted by too. He was still very much an outsider, but perhaps with Kaylee’s lead, everyone else would accept him too. “It was my fault for mentioning it. Besides, I don’t think Mal would be particularly keen on visiting the Core again."

[Inara Serra]

Inara sighed, perhaps more than necessary, at the mention of Mal and core planets.Generally Inara could understand why he attempted to avoid them as often as possible. Obviously she didn't want any harm to come to them, however this time she was more angry than usual. she felt a slow flush creep into her face. To protect himself and those around him, she could understand, but how could he possibly interfere with something such as family. She was beginning to get outraged at Mal's complete selfishness. When a situation like this arose, there was honestly almost no excuse. She could guarantee him the money it would be worth.

She tried to calm herself down before she started into something she didn't want to get entangled in. It was easier not to think about it now. It was a moot point as Simon didn't even want to see his parents. She couldn't help but wonder about River. She didn't want to bring it up again as she didn't want to upset Simon. Family was always somewhat of a touchy subject. Either it raised sentimental values that generally led to crying or remembering fond memories, or perhaps the polar opposite. Nothing quite affected a person like their families. Yet with all River's mind had been through, did she truly even recognize the connections. For the past year it had been her and Simon.

She lowered her eyes for a moment, completely pushing the thoughts to the shadowy corners of her mind.She searched for a new topic. As she looked at Simon, she noticed that River was not the only one who had progressed. The beginning of his time on Serenity had been rocky to say the least. He was fresh from rescuing River and suspicious as a high class doctor who had smuggled a person away from the government as possible. He was a good person who had simply gotten off on the wrong foot. Of course Jayne had taken a dislike to him. Of course Simon had proved just how much he was a part of the crew after taking perfect care of him, despite the ordeal on Ariel.

And then of course there was Kaylee. Inara remembered talking with Kaylee about Simon. She knew how much Kaylee liked him and wanted to try to start a relationship. However Simon always managed to say the wrong thing. Or rather he meant the right thing, but simply did not know how to verbalize them correctly.This seemed like safe subject matter as things had been going well between the two recently. "How is Kaylee enjoying our time on land?" It seemed she had not seen her for awhile. Perhaps it was her own business. In recent past, Inara felt she had been working more or harder or some combination.

[Simon Tam]

Simon had to admit that he was surprised that he missed the Core planets as little as he found himself doing. It had been a shock at first, leaving Persephone and finding himself thrown in with a group of smugglers. Of course, that suited him, as smuggling was not exactly an Alliance approved business, and he wanted to keep as far away as possible from the Alliance. However, the fact that they hadn’t visited anywhere remotely civilised for months on end had been hard at first. He was used to cleanliness and organisation, people being polite and formal with every word, and an excess of money to hand. It had been so different, but he had become used to the differences between space travel and living on a Core planet quickly; he’d had to, or he would have gone mad. But now, he found himself not feeling a particular draw to the Alliance run planets…mainly because of their associations to the Alliance. Simon might have supported Unification, but that had been before the problems with River had started, before the Alliance had started cutting into a girl’s brain just to see what affect it would have on her. He couldn’t think of anything worse than being in a place full of Alliance.

That didn’t mean that Simon didn’t miss some of the intelligence that could be found in the places he used to frequent. There was no way that anyone could call anyone on the crew stupid; Kaylee was a genius with machines, far better than anyone he’d ever met, Mal was certainly good at hatching plans, Jayne was…well...maybe Jayne wasn’t the brightest one of the bunch, but Simon’s point was that none of them were doctors. He couldn’t talk to any of them about medicine, just like he couldn’t talk to any of them about history, or anything like the subjects he and the other doctors would have talked about on their breaks. He would have given anything for the chance to have a decent, intellectual, cultural conversation for once. And here he was with Inara, who was probably the most cultured of the lot, and they were talking about his parents, a subject that he wanted to move off as soon as possible. How had that happened?

Well, talking about Kaylee was a damn sight better than talking about his parents, even if it wasn’t a discussion on the history of Earth-That-Was, for example. Perhaps he’d just have to forget about wanting to talk to someone like himself for once. There was no-one like himself out here; he was the only one, the outsider. Even River, for all the things she had gone through and problems she had caused, seemed to be more accepted than he was, even after all this time. That wasn’t something that Simon could change, though he wished he could. He was a member of the crew, Mal had said so from very early on, but he didn’t really feel as though he belonged here. He belonged in an Alliance-run hospital on an Alliance-run planet supporting Alliance-run events. Not any more. He didn’t belong anywhere near the Alliance. He had to remember that.

“I haven’t spoken to her since we landed,” Simon admitted. He had hoped that the fact that they were planet-side would have meant that the two of them could spend a bit of time together, something that was hard to achieve when they were in the air. “I think there’s a problem with some part of Serenity that she’s fixing up. At least, she muttered something about a transformer or something when we landed. I’m not really sure.”

[Inara Serra]

Inara studied Simon's reactions carefully. she didn't want to risk offending him again. She valued his opinions greatly and didn't want to cause problems. She enjoyed having someone with the central planets and various civil things that others on the ship simply did not. It was also nice to have someone who understood the need to play it safe. While the allure of some great smuggling job were...well....alluring she could not stress enough how dangerous these jobs could get. Since Simon had come to Serenity she had gotten a fair amount of back up from him.

She always found Simon slightly difficult to decipher. He always seemed so studios. He was subtle as he thought. While some would physically change Simon betrayed very little to her.However Inara always enjoyed challenges like this. However some things were completely certain, such as his discomfort with the previous subject. While she had managed to turn conversation to Kaylee she wasn't entirely sure how long this topic would last either. Conversation with the crew of Serenity was never as easy as one would hope. It seemed that the better she knew someone the more difficult it was to converse formally. After all Serenity was not a large ship, and living in such close quarters with everyone meant them seeing parts of her she wasn't necessarily sure she wanted them to see. And of course once she had been exposed she couldn't simply make them forget. She worried most about Kaylee. She never had trouble with keeping everyone else at a certain distance, but she had become quite attached to her. She was the only one allowed in the shuttle at almost anytime.

Inara wasn't surprised to hear that something on Serenity needed fixing. If it weren't for the mechanical genius of Kaylee they would have fallen out of the sky for good some time long ago. However she was also surprised it was taking so long to fix. Was this the reason they had been here for so long? She still remembered when they had broken down and were simply stuck there. A shiver went down her spine just thinking about it. Even Kaylee's genius hadn't been able to save something that was simply broken. It was only through incredible luck that they had been able to survive. Inara laughed at herself, there was no need to be so worried. Not this time at least. If Kaylee was working on it then it was obviously a fixable problem.

"Well I'm sure she'll have it fixed soon enough." Inara reassured both him and herself. "If she's been in the engine room this long she probably is making an entirely new engine.." It was actually a plausible theory. After all nobody got wrapped up in their work as much as Kaylee.

[Simon Tam]

It seemed to Simon that there was always something going on to stop him and Kaylee from enjoying some quality time together. Whether it was the fact that both their jobs could take up the whole day, or that the moment they sat down someone came in wanting to talk, they hardly ever managed to have some time to themselves. He had hoped that this shore leave would be their chance to escape from everyone else and enjoy each other’s company, but, of course, things intervened. Serenity needed patching up, and that came higher up the list of priorities than him getting to spend some time with Kaylee. Simon understood that, he really did – without the ship in good shape, they wouldn’t be able to go anywhere, and Kaylee’s job was almost the most important of them all – but why did Serenity need repairing now? Couldn’t she have waited until such time as he and Kaylee had spent so much time with each other that they wanted nothing more than to get out of each other’s sight?

Of course, no-one had ever said that a ship-board romance would be easy. In some ways, it was a lot harder than having a relationship if you were stationed on a planet, but Simon wasn’t necessarily looking for easy; just some time to spend with his girlfriend. That was all. Once they were in the air again, who knew what complications would ensue – for Simon was sure that there would be complications; there always were, whatever they were doing. Maybe he’d have to drag Kaylee away from the engine room for half an hour later before they left; it wasn’t as though she would still be working by the end of the day, as most things she could repair in minutes (at least, it seemed like that to Simon, for whom Serenity’s engine looked impossible to understand). She’d probably forgotten the time, or else there was something seriously wrong with the ship. That was a plan, then; after he’d finished talking to Inara, he’d head up to the Heart of Gold to check up on the people there, and then he’d wander back this way and see if Kaylee could be separated from the grease for a few minutes.

Simon liked having his day planned out; spontaneity was all very well when you were flying, since pretty much every day was the same, but on the few precious days that they got to have the freedom of a planet, it was far better to make sure that you knew what you were doing at all times – otherwise, before you knew it, it would be time to leave, and you would hardly have got your land-legs. There was no point in wasting the time like that…of course, you couldn’t entirely predict how long you were going to get planet side. With the life they led, they could have to leave at a moment’s notice. Still, Simon preferred to have at least some idea of how he was going to spend his time. Seeing Kaylee would certainly be time well spent.

“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Simon commented with a smile, looking back towards the ship for signs of life. “It’s amazing what she can do with Serenity.”

[Inara Serra]

Inara continued to worry despite the fact that she knew better. She attempted to reassure herself that everything was going to be just fine, but she couldn't quite calm herself. The fact that Kaylee hadn't fixed whatever it was could be a very bad sign. Inara sighed. She was getting restless just sitting here on this planet. She wanted something useful to do. While it seemed everyone else had some important job or task she was left to hope for her skills to be needed, which they rarely were. It wasn't that she couldn't find work it was simply that she didn't trust those able to afford her rates. While there had been some changes Inara seriously doubted that enough change had been made. She hoped Kaylee was simply doing as she ad suggested and improving Serenity rather than fixing her still.

Inara was surprised to hear that she hadn't taken a break, even for Simon. Often time she was one of the first to want to explore and get off the ship. Now that she and Simon had worked everything out it seemed even more out of character. Once again Inara was letting her mind get away from the reality of a subject. The truth of the matter simply had to be that Kaylee was getting wrapped up in her work and lost track of time. It was easy to do on a ship like Serenity. Especially in the engine room where there was no real way to keep track of the time. To Kaylee it could feel like only a few hours had passed.

She hoped they managed to find some time together while they were here. They seemed to be the only ones able to sustain a romance on that ship. Well, Zoe and Wash...but of course not everything could work out in the end. They had paid quite a price for their current well being, and t was still taking it's toll on everyone. In some ways it made Inara think she should let herself feel more than she was now. Yet it made he think their was no point at all. To her it seemed more painful to have had something so good and then lose it rather than to have never had it at all. And then of course there was he choice of career. It was very rare that a companion had outside relationships of a romantic nature. It was all to easy for somebody to become jealous and do something irrational.

Inara gazed past Simon at the ship that had been her home for the last year. Her time away felt so much longer than it had been and she knew that as long as she would be able to remain there she would. However as much as she loved the ship, there was nobody who loved her as much as Kaylee. She doubted that even Mal could understand Serenity like she did. "Serenity." Inara managed to sum up her thoughts int only one word. "With Kaylee it almost seems like there is another person when it comes to Serenity. Like she can speak and play and love her as she does any one of us."

[Simon Tam]

Simon couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to live on this particular moon; from what he could see of it now, and what he remembered from the last time they were here, it was a pretty barren place. No trees, no shops, no civilisation. Even for those people who did not want to live in a place as civilised as the Core (which Simon could understand, even if he preferred a little culture every now and again), this wasn’t a place that he could ever envisage settling. It was almost oppressive, and not just because of the humidity that seemed to be hanging in the air after the coolness of the ship. Wouldn’t they rather go somewhere else, where women were as equal as men and they actually had some chance at being something? By ‘they’, Simon wasn’t particularly referring to the girls at the Heart of Gold, although it seemed as though it would have been sensible for them to move their, uh, business to another planet, even with Burgess gone. But who was he to question other people’s motives and choices? Just because he had always been clear about what his main aim was, it didn’t mean that other people had such a good idea.

Simon was glad that he knew entirely what he wanted; there was never any question about it. Whatever he might want for himself, however much he wished he could go back to working in a hospital, River came first. That was it. She was his top priority, and nothing was going to change that, not even if she completely recovered. He was, however, beginning to allow himself other priorities – although if one of those jeopardised the health or safety of his sister, he wouldn’t hesitate to stop it in an instant, even if he would regret it later. There was never one thing that could be important to someone; there were many, many things that made a person tick, as it were, and Simon was really only beginning to find out what those things were for him now that he did not need to watch River twenty-four hours a day. River was still the most important person in his life, but there was someone who was coming a close second now…someone whom Simon was beginning to regret leaving on the ship to come and stand out here. “I should go and see Kaylee,” Simon muttered, not even realising that he was speaking out loud. What was he thinking, letting her spend her time on a planet in the engine room, where she spent all her time when she was in the air anyway? Maybe she’d like to walk to the Heart of Gold with him later? It wasn’t the most romantic of excursions, but he needed to go and they could at least spend the time there and back together. When both of them had as little spare time as Simon and Kaylee seemed to, every second counted.

Simon nodded. “Serenity,” he repeated, a smile at the corners of his mouth. It was one small word, but it meant so much to everyone on it. So many memories, so much pain, and most of all, so much freedom. That was what Serenity really meant, wasn’t it? You were free when you were flying through space, away from the Alliance and the people who would hold you back. “We’d all be lost without her, wouldn’t we?”

[Inara Serra]

Simon was right. Without Kaylee they would all be lost, in more ways than one. She was the one person that could bring everyone together so completely. Inara thought back to when the Alliance lawman had shot Kaylee in the stomach. Only then had everyone been able to agree on one course of action. It shouldn't have to take so much to have that result, however it was almost always that way with Kaylee. While Inara had never really wanted a family of her own, after her own childhood had been so fragmented, yet she couldn't help feeling utterly maternal over Kaylee. "We most certainly would." she concluded as best she could. Words could not always convey everything that on meant them to,

Slowly she began walking toward Serenity. She didn't want to interrupt Simon's day too much and it seemed they both were going that way anyways. And of course if she could get Simon and Kaylee to spend time time together any faster, she knew it would be appreciated. Time was a very valuable thing out here. On the ship especially. When there was such risk presenting itself everyday, time with the people you truly loved was more valuable than anything else. Of course for her, she always ended up shutting herself out of that. Kaylee had Simon, and he had River, and Jayne had his guns...Vera in particular. Either way, when it came time to begin to think about death as a possibility she generally shut herself away in her shuttle.

She supposed that was the most logical thing for her. In the past year the shuttle had come to mean more to her than a lodging or an office. It was now truly her home. There were the people, of course, yet while there was never a solid...consistency to them. They were always changing, and affecting things in ways that she simply could not. Yet her shuttle was simply hers. The one place that she could affect in her own way. Perhaps this was just her way of hiding. All the rules and limitations she put around herself were more for the benefit of prevention than the true benefit of herself. She had always intended this arrangement to be relatively temporary and getting too close to anyone could change what, in her mind, needed to stay exactly the same. There were no two ways about it. She couldn't stay because she wanted to when leaving was required of her. She was already pushing the limits, but there was only so far to go before thee boundaries got crossed.