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Post by Simon Tam on Jul 10, 2008 16:49:52 GMT -5
There had been several times over the last few months when Simon had considered leaving Serenity. Although he and River were safer on the move, even now, there were times when it had seemed as though he was putting the rest of the crew in more danger than their thieving would put them in anyway, and it hadn’t seemed right. Besides, Simon had always been one to prefer living on a planet in one place than to be travelling the whole time, although that view was changing too. However, as soon as he’d made the decision that he and River would disembark at the next vaguely civilised place they landed (not that the decision had always been in his hands, especially not at the beginning), something had stopped him from going through with it. River was so happy here, out in the Black, and Kaylee wouldn’t leave Serenity…even he was finding that travelling was actually a very pleasurable experience. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to leave now, and actually, Simon didn’t want to. All these months, he’d only been out here because it was the safest place for River, he’d forgotten to enjoy this new life he’d given himself.
He was enjoying it now, though. The Alliance were no longer hot on their tails, River was getting better and he had finally managed to tell Kaylee how he felt about her without implying that she was his last hope. Sure, they were still doing many illegal things, and he didn’t get on with everyone, but it was better than he could ever have hoped. He’d picked the right ship back in Persephone, that was for sure. It might not have seemed like it all the time, but Mal and everyone had stuck by him and River after a fashion, and for that Simon would always be grateful. Sure, life wasn’t risk free, but when was it ever? It could have been a whole lot worse.
Simon turned as Inara began to walk back towards Serenity. What had he done? The minute people – girls in particular – started to walk away from him, he was always afraid that he’d said something tactless; it was something that he was good at, after all. Even with Inara, who was so calm and easy to talk to, there was the possibility that he had said something that would hurt her without meaning to. “Uh, Inara?” he said, running his hand through his hair. “I know you’ve already been today, but would you come with me to the Heart of Gold? I’m, um, not particularly good at talking to girls…I don’t want to say something completely yu ben de and make them all hate me.”
yu ben de ;; stupid
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Post by Inara Serra on Jul 13, 2008 15:09:32 GMT -5
Inara was surprised at how set he was in going to the Heart of Gold. True it had always been his intention to go. She had never expected to change his plans however, she had thought to play a small part in bringing him to Kaylee. Yet she was glad to hear that he really did mean to spend time at the Heart of Gold. After all those girls needed him more than Kaylee did. For the moment at least. They couldn't find better care on the planet, and after his previous heroism in delivering Petaline's baby while under fire. There simply was nobody better suited for their job than Simon. Not only was he a brilliant doctor, but he truly cared about his patients, under any and all circumstances.
She turned to him and smiled warmly. "Of course. I'm not entirely ready to return to Serenity anyhow. It's not often I get to be on land without working." While she was often on edge about her work, mostly her lack thereof she was feeling rather relaxed at the moment. And Simon was so duan zheng , he was quite charming, but couldn't quite say the right thing in the presence of strong minded women. It was a different skill, speaking to those outside of a dutiful context. Even companions had to have natural ability to blend in all situations. To speak to one person was an individual experience, never to be replicated with a different person.
Inara thought of the girls from the Heart of Gold. Some of them had been trained as companions originally. Their lack of finer training often showed. The life of a companion was not easy. It was more often easier to end the experience before it really began. Once a person got in so far there didn't seem to be a way to get out. It was just better to stay within the business. Besides Nandi, Inara really didn't have a close personal relationship with the girls. She enjoyed them all, but she simply did not know them well. How did the come to be in such a place? There wasn't much here, for them or anyone else. In any case there was no better place for them. They were taken care of at the Heart of Gold. And they were such good girls. She couldn't stop thinking of them as girls. Of course as Kaylee had pointed out, some of them were males. That was rare. There were very few male companions and she was surprised to see that the men here had taken to such work. After all this was a sexist place if ever there was one when it came to the main town.
Inara did envy the inhabitants of the Heart of Gold though. She had never had a solid home (on land) where she could nest and conduct her affairs as she pleased. Even on Serenity, though she loved it dearly, there were restrictions and/or rules that needed to be followed in order to maintain the basic needs of survival. She would never dream of sacrificing everything for her own complete happiness. She wasn't even set on complete stability. She enjoyed the horizons Serenity was able to aid her in broadening. She was glad to have such a place though a home on the solid ground would be a very different experience.
duan zheng;; proper
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Post by Simon Tam on Jul 16, 2008 17:12:04 GMT -5
Not particularly good at talking to girls? That was a bit of an understatement. The truth was, he was absolutely awful at talking to anyone of the opposite sex who wasn’t a family member. Even then, he tended to manage to make situations worse than they were, except when he was talking to River. Everybody else, whoever they were, was susceptible to the symptoms of Simon’s foot-in-mouth disease. It wasn’t as though he meant to offend anybody; doing that couldn’t have been further from the respectful, well brought up young man’s mind. It was just that…girls scared him. Not in the way that some people were afraid of needles or spiders, but he never knew what to say to them. Ever. Maybe it would have been better if Simon had just avoided anyone female altogether, but it was never that easy…especially not when there was someone that you particularly liked. It had taken Simon a long time to even work up the courage to talk to Kaylee on her own, and even then he had managed to be too formal, too conservative in his manner and offend her completely. It was definitely a disease; not the sort that Simon was used to dealing with as a doctor, but a disease nonetheless. He was just glad that his condition seemed to be improving somewhat now that he had the right cure; a girlfriend. If there was anybody who could stop him being so stupid around girls, it was Kaylee.
As much as Simon wanted to spend some time with Kaylee before they were whipped off the land faster than Jayne could grab the last bread roll, he had to go and spend some time with a whole bunch of girls before he would allow himself to do that. For most men, the thought of being in a whole house of whores would probably be the best idea they’d heard all year (if certain crew members were to go by, at any rate), but Simon had been brought up better than that, and if anything, the thought scared him slightly. However, he was going to be there as a doctor, nothing else. He could certainly do that; helping other people, checking that they were well, fixing them if they weren’t. It was what Simon had been destined to do for as long as he could remember and had been the only thing he had ever wanted to do. He could save lives; there was nothing in the whole ‘Verse that was more important than that.
“Thank you,” Simon replied, smiling at the Companion. He’d not really had much contact with Companions when he’d been living in the Core – it hadn’t been the sort of thing young doctors like himself did, despite all the money that they earned – but he was sure that Inara was one of the nicest Companions anyone could ever meet. Oh, she was professional to the core, but that was what Simon liked about her, even if it was a little embarrassing at times. Like him, she came from a world that wasn’t all cussing and spitting; she knew what it was like to leave behind civilisation to come travelling through the Black. “I know what you mean. I hope that this isn’t the last time we see actual land for a while. I’ve missed being on solid ground.”
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Post by Inara Serra on Jul 23, 2008 8:49:31 GMT -5
Inara hadn't realized just how willing she was to go back to the Heart of Gold. She still had all the emotional effects, but there was something about the place that felt...comfortable. She didn't have to keep up the image of a companion where there was nobody to impress. Though the crew of Serenity was as much a part of her as anything else, it was her career that made her useful. To lose that would be to make herself little more than a passenger. Yet in the Heart of Gold she knew that the clients did not expect a companion, they expected company. They were two separate things, and she had no need to sell her skills as she usually would.
She thought about the people she would often associate with on a core. Many of them were much like Simon, very proper and wealthy. For them a companion was nothing out of the ordinary. Those able to afford them often spent increasing amounts of time with the same girl. While it was a companions job to make the client feel as if they were acquaintances rather than relative strangers, many often got confused and found themselves wanting more from a companion. Inara thought of the occasions when someone had wanted to take her away from her current life. She had been offered a relationship, a provider and the potential of a solid family and life. However it was not often that a companion could or would accept. More often than not they grew immune to such feeling. While it had always been a personal requirement of Inara's to be at leas amicable with her clients, she simply could not return the feelings. Perhaps she didn't want to, but a part of her felt that she was incapable. To her there was always something lacking in her experiences, while most were enjoyable there were always those that caused problems.
She Turned her thoughts back to the present situation. She was almost ready to get back in the air. She did love the time they spent on land, but it always made her slightly nervous. Like there was trouble waiting to happen. It was always something and in a place like this trouble was found much easier than she would have liked. However Inara loved being able to go outside. It made things feel more real somehow. On Serenity she could roam freely, and everything was solid and working (for the most part) but something was just missing. Being able to get outside the confines of a ship gave Inara a feeling of complete freedom. No matter how much one traveled one could not reach every corner or secret on a planet.
"Of course" she replied to Simon's thanks. "I'm not sure I would have stayed away for long anyhow. Though I suppose I am getting ready to move on. I'm not sure how much I trust Mal being on a planet this long. And then there is Jayne. I think he's been to the Heart of Gold almost as much as I have."
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Post by Simon Tam on Jul 29, 2008 16:32:25 GMT -5
Simon was always in two minds about whether he liked visiting planets or not on the off chance that he was actually allowed to get off the ship (which didn’t happen all that often when Mal wanted a quick turnaround with the jobs), and as soon as he reached the decision that he preferred being planet-side, where he could live in one place, get a steady, regularly paid job and really settle down, he realised that he would actually miss flying; there were so many places that he hadn’t been yet, the ‘Verse was so vast. There was so much out there, and so little of it was really known. How many more solar systems, galaxies and the like were there? He was sure that even if he asked River, she wouldn’t know, and River knew pretty much everything. Ah yes, River. If Simon ever thought seriously about leaving Serenity (because though he had thought it in the past, a part of him really hadn’t wanted to leave), the decision would really be down to her. If she wanted to stay, they stayed. That was how it worked.
A lot of people wouldn’t have liked the way that Simon made his important decisions, but for him it worked perfectly. The most important thing in his life was his sister, and making sure that she was safe and happy (although the former was more important, of course); therefore, as long as he achieved that, he didn’t mind where he was. Sure, he loved being part of Serenity’s crew, but only for as long as River loved it. He’d left behind his whole life once before for her; surely he could do it again? For a moment, he stalled. It would be harder this time, if he had to; as difficult as it was leaving behind his job, his family, and admittedly his paycheque, now these people were just as much his family as his blood relatives were…more so, even. They’d given him a second chance when his own parents had cut him off. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to leave them behind after all – he had to think of himself at some point in his life – Simon wasn’t sure. At least he didn’t have to think about it now. Hopefully it wasn’t something that he’d ever have to think about. They could stay on Serenity until they died, or at least until they all got arrested. The latter seemed a lot more likely, however hard they tried to stay away from the Alliance.
“When Mal’s doing something illegal and taking his time about it, I’m not sure I trust him either,” Simon admitted with a wry smile. As much respect as he had for the captain, there were times when there was a certain lack of trust between them, at least in Simon’s eyes. It had been Mal who had wanted to throw him and River out, after all, and him who’d taken her on that first job before all the Miranda stuff had started. But given River’s like of the captain, Simon had little to find fault with; he might not have taken on jobs that were legal, but he kept his word and looked after his crew. There wasn’t really much more Simon could ask for. Well, doing the illegal stuff quicker would have been nice; as often as he was assured that the nearest Alliance cruiser was hours away, he didn’t want them to get caught. Though he and River weren’t such well publicised fugitives anymore, they were still wanted by the law, and, not unsurprisingly, Simon didn’t want them to be found.
Simon couldn’t help but laugh as Inara mentioned Jayne. The public relations officer, as Mal had named his job the first day Simon had been aboard Serenity, had certainly been working on his relations during their stay here. He had probably had to be dragged away from the Heart of Gold when it had been time for the job’s rendezvous; he’d spent so much time there he’d practically moved in. “Do you think he’d notice if we left him there?”
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Post by Inara Serra on Aug 6, 2008 13:36:24 GMT -5
Inara laughed lightly. Leaving Jayne behind would have about as many benefits as it would problems. While he could be entertain and at least moderately friendly, the vulgar "man ape" as he had been referred to more than once was a handful. While he was quite strong and good with the combat end of things, his positive "public relations" were quite rare. Maybe if they went back to Canton..There Jayne was sure to receive a warm welcome, even after the drama of their last visit. In her experience people did not lose faith that easily when it was so badly needed.
She could see the obvious joke, but in the back of her mind she wondered if Simon wasn't just a little bit serious. After all Jayne had always been rude to him and River, taking the chance to betray them on Ariel. And of course there was his little known crush on Kaylee. When she thought about the crew as a whole Inara simply couldn't imagine it without someone. It seemed impossible to remove someone from her mental image. No matter how brutish it just didn't seem right. Jayne was simply an anomaly to be tolerated in Inara's mind. What else could she do. "He might just be happier here though..." She thought out loud. What did he love more, money or sex? She honestly didn't know.
Inara often faced a similar dilemma. Staying in one place could guarantee more steady business for her. Ensuring a greater income, though she really didn't need it. Yet being on Serenity provided broader and more interesting clients. While not all could be classified as enjoyable they were interesting and provided better stories, when she was at liberty to tell them. However for Inara it wasn't so much sex and money that she had to choose between but love and stability. She truly loved everyone on the ship and sacrificing it was unbearable. So despite her better judgments and sense of self preservation Inara's choice had been made for her.
She was surprised to see just how far she had come in such a short time. She had supported the Alliance not long ago. Unification was something she had believed in. That was also back when she had been in the House of Madrassa, and learning nothing of the dark side of the 'verse. Traveling on Serenity had opened her eyes to some both wonderful and terrible things. She now believed in something much greater than she had before, though it was not the same belief. She no longer supported the Alliance. She believed that they had done good, as they should, but there was a mute point when they chose to neglect many boarder planets. Now she believed in something beyond the Alliance and the Independents. She wanted to see the people taken care of and the sense of Independence that people like Mal wanted restored. There was no good to be done in totalitarianism, nor was there to be achieved from anarchy.
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Post by Simon Tam on Aug 19, 2008 16:42:06 GMT -5
ooc;; I'm so sorry for how long it's taken me to reply to this. >.<
Now that he thought about it, Simon almost hoped that Jayne could be left behind for a spell. It was perfectly truthful to say that the man wasn’t Simon’s favourite crew member, and life would certainly be more bearable without his antagonistic views around. It wasn’t that Simon hated him, because hate was an awfully strong word, but despite everything that they had been through, it was still hard for him to forgive what Jayne had done to him and River on Ariel. And to think that he might never have known of the betrayal if it hadn’t been for River…sometimes Simon thought he might have been better off that way; at least there wouldn’t have been that tiny part of his mind that wondered if Jayne would hand River over to the Alliance again if the money was good enough. Still, his sister seemed to trust him now, and there wasn’t any real reason for Simon not to do so. And he had to admit, life on Serenity would be rather strange without Jayne there; each member of the crew was integral to making life on the ship what it was. Without any one of them, it wouldn’t be quite the same. Even Jayne.
They were like one big family on Serenity. They had their differences, that was true, and there were times when things could get so fraught that they had to spend some time apart to stop themselves from killing each other. But despite that, they were all close, they all needed each other. If one person disappeared, it was as though a cog from the machinery had been taken away; nothing worked properly. It had been hard when the Shepherd had left to live on Haven, when Inara had gone back to her life as a Companion, but even harder with the death of Wash; he had been one of the integral cogs in the machinery that kept Serenity in the air. But they had pulled through both his and Shepherd Book’s deaths, and that was only because they were a family, able to be there for one another. That was what had kept Simon flying when he could so easily have decided to settle on some planet or other; he had lost his real family, and he didn’t want to lose this one too.
“With all the sex? I don’t suppose there’s anything Jayne would like better, except more money, perhaps,” Simon replied, a smile hovering on the corner of his mouth. He was joking, of course, because there was no way that Jayne would leave Serenity (and actually, given the family picture he had just painted himself, Simon didn’t want him to either), but there was a note of seriousness. Sometimes it seemed as though those were the only two things Jayne thought about, but who was Simon to judge? Maybe there was something else going on in the man’s mind, deep beneath the surface, that simply couldn’t be seen by Simon. It was always possible, although somewhat unlikely. “I guess we have to bring him along with us, though.”
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Post by Inara Serra on Aug 29, 2008 16:17:26 GMT -5
Inara smiled. "I'm sure he could find ways to make money. Some more obvious than others." She laughed at the thought of Jayne working as a whore. It may be the best line of business for him. Money, sex, and probably even some violence if he tried hard enough. She wondered if it had ever crossed his mind. Then again there was a certain amount of initial charm required, and to say that Jayne possessed none of that would be an understatement. Then again, one could always learn of they wanted something enough.
Adaptation was one of the greatest skills humans possessed. Especially when living in the current age. Simon was the perfect example. She saw firsthand how hard it was for him, coming from a rich family and a perfect job, to smuggling and taking whatever jobs they could find. Running from the law. She could tell that this was never what Simon imagined he would be doing. But he did it, because it was what he had to. That was just one example of many. Inara's mind wandered next to Zoe, thinking of how long she and Mal had been on the ship together for a while when Wash became the pilot. And then she had fallen in love with him, and then just a few years later he was gone. And Zoe wasn't. There were just so many complications that got mixed into one's life it was amazing anyone survived at all.
Then she thought back to the girls (and boys) of the Heart of Gold. How had they come to be there. They were all so sweet and had skills, so haw was it they came to be in so desolate a place. When they really could have been anywhere. But when she thought of Nandi she felt her internal opinions change drastically. Because it wasn't really about the work, it was about the self righteousness of it all. Out here there were no rules, the Alliance looked over them and they could conduct their affairs as they pleased. Inara was beginning to see the upside of this idea.
Inara wondered what it would be like to train some companions, or have a house of her own, outside of Sihnon. She wouldn't leave Serenity, but it was nice to think about.Maybe something else would come along, some opportunity. When she was done with her own career. But she hoped to prevent that for a very long time. Forever if possible, though things were settling down. She could feel herself change, her body changing and weakening as the effects of Sihnon wore off. She closed her eyes for a moment at this thought, knowing that what she was hoping for had a cost that wasn't worth it. Habits could be made and therefore they could be broken. Now it was her turn to adapt and she would do this. Even if it took everything she had. Or she would try until it wan't worth it anymore.
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